I usually trash talk television for the seemingly endless parade of stupid television shows with basically zero premise and the same tired jokes that we’re all accustomed to. It seems like every new show is just a rip-off of a better show that we all used to love. Then I discovered Two Broke Girls and I had to throw that theory right out the window. What a fascinating new show. What deep sense of character and plot. I’m powerless against such story telling prowess and I now sit, every night, waiting anxiously for the new show that’s sweeping the entertainment biz right off its feet. Not familiar with the show? Let me clue you in, though I can’t help to cover such a vast mountain of information in just one blog. I can only scratch the surface and hope that you’re a person of enough depth to comprehend everything that’s going on. Here goes. There are these two girls and they want to open a cupcake store but they don’t have enough money so they work as waitresses and complain about their lives.
I know, this seems like a vast amount to take in all at once, but once you discover there are already three seasons of this rich comedy mineral deposit you’ll start to understand. We’re talking comedy gold here. There are no redeeming characters, but Chuck Lorre has already taught us that redeeming characters are nothing but a garnish in a comedy show. The majority of every episode is shot in the same mundane restaurant, just in case you thought there’d be a little variety. The characters go through the same problems that you and I do, provided we’re all invalids, and by the end of the show whatever issue was brought up is.. sort of resolved. It doesn’t matter much, though, because we never cared in the first place. Luckily, when things get dry, there are a pile of supporting characters the likes of which we’ve never seen.
Take Borat in the kitchen. I mean, it isn’t really Borat, it’s just a guy with an accent who leaves necessary words out of his speech and makes disgusting sexual references all the time. The character arch of Poor Man’s Borat is easy to imagine as a rock that got pounded so far into the ground it will likely reside there longer than you’ll be alive without ever moving. There’s also Stiffler’s Mom who is playing Stiffler’s Mom minus about forty IQ points and an oriental fellow who is the epitome of every joke John Pinette makes when he’s talking about the times he goes to eat at a Chinese all you can eat buffet. There is also a very stereotypical black man, just to round off the cast and make it Multicultural. As of yet, a meteorite has not smashed into the diner and killed everyone, but there’s still plenty of time left for that to happen. I wonder if they take fan submissions for which direction the show should head. That’s just a joke, of course, as the show is obviously going nowhere fast.
Let’s stop and examine the name of the show. Two Broke Girls. The implication is that they don’t have the money to support their dreams, that’s why they’re broke, right? I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure this is supposed to be a clever play on Two Broken Girls. You know the type. Girls who make bad decisions, girls who date guys who are obviously terrible for them, girls who do drugs and sleep around. Basically the two main characters of the show. Let’s dig deeper. What is it that breaks girls in this way? Well, it’s typically abuse. Sexual or otherwise. Drug abuse certainly lends into this. So we’re supposed to be laughing at two girls who are struggling through life trying to hide from things they’re unwilling to accept and move on from? What a great premise! Somebody please put a laugh track in so I know when I’m supposed to laugh. The one character (Behrs) is a rich girl whose dad got arrested so she got cut off from her wealth and had to work in a low class eatery. Like Rachel from Friends. The other girl (Dennings) is described as “sassy and streetwise” which translates to “a mouthy skank” on screen
Kat Dennings, who actually can act when she’s inspired to, just calls in every performance. A friend of mine commented that he thinks she’s on drugs every episode. I wouldn’t blame her if she were. Anything to make it through that day, right? It seems like she’s doing the show because she was forced to and that she’s doing everything in her power to make them regret forcing her to stick to the contract. I don’t know for certain if Beth Behrs can act, but if she can she’s superb at hiding her ability. Again, I have a hard time blaming either of them. I couldn’t imagine even pretending to get excited about going to work on a show like this. They want to open a cupcake store? Of course they do, that’s what girls want to do, right? They don’t want to do anything useful or productive. They want to make cupcakes. This show is all about inspiring women. In this case, inspiring them to jump off a bridge.
I’m sorry I don’t know the main characters’ names but I honestly don’t care enough to look them up. Does it really matter? Back stories aside, the two characters are interchangeable and are really just the same character with two bodies. What really saves the show is the killer jokes that they lay down every episode. What kind of material are we talking about here? Why just take a gander at the following scene that I selected at random from YouTube:
First of all, there was better acting in my grade twelve drama class and I’m not even just saying that. They look as bored to be there as I am to watch. Also I missed anything that even resembles a joke in all of that. Was it that girl peeing herself? Was it the fact that they work in a shitty diner and no one there has any money? Was it the fact that we’re supposed to assume the Asian boss is a weakling but he’s really a badass with a handgun? Who the fuck even does that putting your hand in your coat and pretending to have a gun thing, anyway? Isn’t that the most clichéd, horseshit stick-em-up fallback in the history of bad theater? How many good shows didn’t make it so that three seasons of this shit could parade around the television?
We, as a people, need to stand up and ask for something more from our televisions. Something with substance, plot, and in the case of a comedy, actual humour that goes beyond someone slipping in a puddle of urine. Remember Kids In The Hall? I have to go back and watch clips from that afterwards so I can remember what funny is. I guess I’ll never find out if they ever open their cupcake store, but that’s obviously my cross to bear in this world. Do yourself a favour and watch something else. All of the episodes of Two Broke Girls combined don’t contain enough humour for one real episode. Back to the drawing board, folks.