Tragic Mistakes #7: Brock Anton (And The Vancouver Hockey Riots 2011)

You have to hand it to him, he really looks good in white.

People around the world riot for different reasons. Some people riot to protest inequality. Some riot because they’re starving or they’re part of a system that is treating them unfairly and they won’t stand for it anymore. In Canada we mostly riot because of things that happen in hockey games. The world could try to point a finger and laugh at us, but sadly most of the rest of the world riots over football/soccer and is no better off. When riots broke out in Vancouver due to the local sports team losing an important playoffs game the rest of hung our heads in shame. It’s a shame anyone who lives near a big Canadian city knows when their team is in the playoffs. The thing is, though, the Vancouver riots pushed it just a little too far. People looted stores and flipped cars and lit things on fire. A sports team lost and people lit things on fire. Things that weren’t even theirs. Nice things that hadn’t done anything to anyone. If aliens really do take humans away to conduct experiments on us as much as a lot of people would like you to believe they do, do you really wonder why?

Brockkkk take this down, it's too ironic!

Brockkkk take this down, it’s too ironic!

Enter Brock Anton, who proudly lit cars on fire, flipped cars and assaulted police officers. Brock wasn’t some kind of namby-pamby mystery rioter, though. Brock wore his Riot on his sleeve. He posted on facebook about his awesome illegal adventures, causing his dear friend Ashley Pehota to warn him that admitting to breaking the law on facebook is a good way to get arrested. Ashley sadly forgot that helping people get away with criminal acts is also criminal, and apparently she neglected to follow her own advice and take the warning down. A concerned “friend” (who was really probably just someone who added him but thought he was a douche but didn’t want to be rude when he got the invite) called the police, though, and soon Brock’s History post would actually make him history. The rioting was really nothing special at all. Who would even know of him at this point if that was all he did? The stupidity of posting about it, though, is the stuff that legends are made of.

It's like Where's Waldo but you don't have to try.

It’s like Where’s Waldo but you don’t have to try.

Police were now on the hunt for any possible images of Brock Anton in the riot. It would be a difficult task finding him, though, as he could easily blend in to any crowd and he didn’t appear unusual in any way. Except for the plasic white sunglasses that he and maybe five other people on the planet wear. He wore them all over the riots and on several of his facebook pictures. Blind police officers could see those glasses in video replay. Brock’s entire movement through the riot was easily located and documented, then used to incarcerate him. Even the nicest person has a hard time feeling sorry for Brock. Some people take the story and make it into something we can appreciate and learn from. I present to you the Ballad Of Brock Anton, one of the greatest songs I’ve ever heard.

Whoever wrote it and performed it did not want to be known and so I cannot give credit to anyone for it, but I hope whoever that person is he knows he’s done us proud in ways Brock Anton has shamed us. This song was responsible for me bursting into laughter at my job, seemingly for no reason, frightening many of the people I worked with at the time. I think of some of the lyrics while I’m on the bus and I have to hold it in, even though I don’t want to. I want to stand up and sing it for everyone. Let Brock’s lesson be an important one to you. Don’t break the law, and if you do then you should try to remember that posting about it online is likely not the wisest course of action. If you’re at a riot try not to join in. Do your own thing! Stand apart from the crowd! Like these two. Same riot but a different take on it. Expressing your love through the art of kiss is wonderful and is obviously unique to the wants of your partner, but there are likely better places. It’s a strangely compelling picture, though.


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2 Responses to Tragic Mistakes #7: Brock Anton (And The Vancouver Hockey Riots 2011)

  1. sonjablade22 says:

    The song was good …. “super simply face” … to bad more people don’t have passion like this for more important things then sports.

  2. snaughty says:

    That was good, but I think “I’m the one with the white shades on… in case you need to find me later” was the greatest lyric in the history of lyrics. I think of that randomly at points in my life and I can’t hold it in. I start laughing until tears are flowing and I just can’t explain it properly to people so they think I’m crazy. It’s so good.

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