A Nod To Greatness #5: Boobs

always practice safe boobs. Wear a helmet.

always practice safe boobs. Wear a helmet.

“Why do you tag almost all of your posts with ‘boobs’?” I’ve heard this a fair number of times in my blogging career. Don’t get all silly and think this is the first time I’ve shotgunned my blog tags with boobs. I’ve been doing it for years. Why? Well, there are a couple of reasons. The main reason is an old friend, James, who told me the reason no one was visiting my page was my distinct lack of sexy tags to draw in the lurid crowd, as that’s apparently 90% of the online world. Whenever I’d talk about my blog he’d ask me if I was using the right tags until finally I added boobs. I didn’t add them thinking people would rush to my site. It was just far easier to tell my friend that I had accepted his advice and put some sexy words in to draw the pervert crowd. Why would I want horny guys reading my blog? I honestly have no idea.

The best thing about boobs, though, is that it does not only refer to breasts. A boob is a person who makes poor choices and is the butt of many people’s jokes. Since the majority of my posts are about people who genuinely are boobs, I feel like I’m satisfying James (though I haven’t spoken with him in many years) and being true to myself at the same time. If you’ve ever perused my blog looking for breasts then please accept my apologies as they’re never going to be a part of the process. Unless I think of something kinda funny to say about them, but then, aren’t boob jokes way overdone?

It should also be noted that I have never had a person find my blog looking for boobs. I don’t think anyone types that when they’re looking for porn online anyway. At least not on search terms I’m allowed to see. Maybe all those mystery search terms are for boobs, I’m not sure. I am quite delighted when WordPress tells me the most popular topic I’ve written about is boobs. It even beats out, “Oh God Why?!”, which is usually in the top three. I’m also amused that the address for this blog is a-nod-to-greatness-5-boobs. I’d like to point out that five boobs is far too many and that it was not what I was going for.

To be honest I’ve never been one to obsess about breasts. In fact, I’m not really one to pick any part of the external body and dedicate my time to it. The sexiest part of the female (or male, I’m guessing, but not sure) body is the brain, all other parts are merely a connection to that brain. Anything you want to do with a person is a connection, through nerves, of your brain and theirs. If the brain in question is not stimulating then everything else is just dressing and not worth the price of admission. I’m certain most people will think I have no idea what I’m talking about when I say that, or think I’m not serious, and that’s no problem. Maybe a few of you know what I’m talking about, though, and you’re the wonderful ones. Don’t ever let boobs change you.

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