A Nod To Greatness #1: Fashion Television

200px-FashionTelevisionChannel_svg
If you’re Canadian and male and are old enough to remember that dreary time before the internet existed then I probably don’t even have to tell you about how great Fashion TV was and forever will be. The intro song was Obsession by Animotion and the masters at Fashion TV knew to cut the song out before it got to the terrible lyrics that everyone hates. Why is it impossible to find an instrumental version of Obsession? I think the lack of the song the way it was intended to be is a leading factor in the destruction of both the earth and the known universe. I simply cannot hear the start of this song without perking up and looking around for exposed nipples. Yes, I said that right. Exposed nipples. Even in the days before it was legal for women in Ontario to walk around without a shirt on (and what a groundbreaking case that was. Total women who have walked around topless since that law went into place: 0, but it was still a moral victory) it was not only allowed but encouraged on Fashion Televsion. Young Canadian men may not know a great deal about fashion, but one thing we will absolutely never forget is that fashion is sometimes not caring if you cover one or both of your breasts. Some rules just never change.
No matter where I was in the house I could hear that intro and whatever I was doing instantly became not worth my time. Even if it was an episode you had seen before you couldn’t complain because CityTV had a minimum of three nipples per show. In the days where it was actually difficult to get pornography and television was afraid to even have a person saying the word nipple, Fashion TV was a groundbreaking piece of work that helped young men in Canada and, hopefully the world around, understand the beauty of the female form. Trust me, it always starts with nipples. This explains their prevalence in the art world, in National Geographic and, to a very pixelated and poorly represented form, the Duke Nuke ’em games. You’ll note that I did not lump the Duke Nuke ’em games in with “art”. You may think this was a mistake on my part. You are certainly wrong about that.
It broke my heart (and gave me mild problems attaining an erection) when I heard that Fashion Television was no longer going to be on the air. It made sense, of course, as the internet is a virtual wonderland of nipples and you can see a million of them at the click of a button now. That doesn’t detract from the hurt that a lot of us are feeling. Is it just me or did the nipples look better when they were hard to find and part of the latest fashion? If you’ve never had a chance to catch the real show because you live in a country that is nipple deprived then please feel free to check the link I provide at the end. Even looking it up got me a little excited, I must say. You’ll note in the clip provided they praise a former model who is good at making current (at the time) female models look sexy. I think we all know just how that piece of artwork is accomplished. I would like to put myself out there as a person who will sorely miss Fashion TV and all of the wonderful things it did for us. Thank you!

this is Fashion TV at its greatest. Please enjoy it.

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